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Why Pillow Pets are better than Normal Pets

Discussion in 'Offtopic' started by baseballaholic22, Oct 12, 2017.

  1. baseballaholic22

    baseballaholic22 The Squeaker Mod Moderator

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    The phenomenal invention, the Pillow Pet, was first produced in 2003 by Jennifer Telfer. The pillow pet was made to provide children a friend and a pet for those who didn't have. Throughout its time the Pillow Pet has expanded to many stores near you, such as, Toys R Us and Bed Bath and Beyond. For those who don't know what a pillow pet is, it is a pillow that you can sleep on, that can also be made as a pet. Some popular pillow pets are, the ladybug, the sheep, and the giraffe. These animals provide comfort to a child, and has a lot of value in peoples lives. Pillow Pets are a 1 time purchase, and you will never need to supply it with basic necessities, the pillow pet will never whine or fuss if you decide to sleep on it, and you don't have to clean up after the pillow pet, as it does not excrete waste. The pillow pet is clearly superior to a "real" pet.
    The pillow pet is a very versatile for its usage in your day to day life. On "hubnames.com", which is a very trustworthy site, there is a review about the pillow pet. This review states, "You can operate it possibly as a pressed/Fondle or as a sleeping pillow. You only tighten a tag around a belly, as well as you'll right/Away get a house pet pal. And if we wish to take a nap, we only are severed a strap, so you'll get a sham a really soothing pillow." This quote shows the endless possibilities of a pillow pet. Now, in comparison to a "real" pet, trying to sleep on it would harm the pet, and you would feel shamed. Everyone loves to sleep, and why not do it with a pillow pet! The pillow pet also won't run away when you attempt to sleep on it. A normal pet might even start licking you and making you feel disgusted.
    Another key part of why the Pillow Pet is a supreme choice is because you don't have to feed it. With a normal pet you will end up spending thousands of dollars over the years of having a pet. The pillow pet is an amazing deal with a 1 time purchase, and if it is cared for properly will live with you until you die. A normally pet will eventually die and cause huge amounts of hardship to you and your family. A pet will also be picky about the food it eats, and sometimes it will even wake you up in the middle of the night. The pillow pet will never wake you up in the middle of the night, and you get to use the pillow pet at night. You will never be separated from your pillow pet, it might even be in your dreams with you.
    Unlike your normal pet, the pillow pet will never make a mess, and it doesn't need physical exercise. If your pet isn't potty trained it will just lay its waste right on your clean floors, yet YOU will have to clean the mess up. With a pillow pet, it never needs to use the bathroom. A normal pet needs physical exercise, for example, a dog, which is the most common pet. You always have to walk your dog early in the morning, and late at night when you get home from work/school. This is a pain as you are tired at both these times of day. The pillow pet though will never need to walk as it is self sufficient. If the worst comes to worst and you don't like your pillow pet (which is a very small percentage of people), you can actually return your pillow pet, with the hardship of a normal pet going to the pound.
    One may argue, that normal pets have emotions, which means they are better. This is wrong as emotions are a complicated system in the human body. We have many different emotions, and some are very easy to trigger. You could accidentally do something wrong, and hurt your pet. The pillow pet on the other hand, does not care if you hurt it or not, and has no emotions. This means that 100% of the time, your pillow pet will always be there for you. The pillow pet will never try to hide from you. There are an abundant amount of reasons in which why a pillow pet is superior to a normal pet.
    The pillow pet is a common household item, adored by most children, even though it is made for people of all ages. With a pillow pet, you don't need to clean up after it, hurt its feelings because it has none, and is only a one time purchase. There is no reason why you don't have a pillow pet right now, against your head while you read this unbeatable essay. Join the trend and get a pillow pet today.
    Edit: Sorry about the spacing, the formatting is weird as most of you know
     
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  2. Carro

    Carro Active Member Wiki Team

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    1] you can have both.

    2] assuming for some reason you can't have both, are you really telling me that this FATBOYE
    [​IMG]

    is better than this GOODBOYE?


    I rest my case.
     
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  3. Bacon

    Bacon Well-Known Member

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    no



    yo i thought mods weren't supposed to shitpost
     
  4. baseballaholic22

    baseballaholic22 The Squeaker Mod Moderator

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    eh its offtopic, and this was an education piece in which was completely necessary by all standards
     
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  5. CREEPER__1

    CREEPER__1 Well-Known Member

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    You make a compelling argument, BUT you can’t cook and eat a pillow pet can you? No I didn’t think so. However you can cook your normal cow pet and make tasty hamburgers out of him, and actually feed your family with it. You can’t cook your cozy cow pillowpet and feed it to your family. This also works for real life cats, dogs, pandas, monkeys, dolphins, ducks, turtles, etc. Second of all normal animals are THICC, a pillow pet is just fake and has stuffing injections to make you perceive it as thicc, but it's not the same. Normal animals are better than pillow pets, case closed.
    [​IMG]
    Please don’t yell at my dark humor, I didn’t mean it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2017
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  6. Bacon

    Bacon Well-Known Member

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    i dont think baseball is korean though
     
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  7. CREEPER__1

    CREEPER__1 Well-Known Member

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    You don’t have to be Korean to eat a dolphin or a monkey
     
  8. Bacon

    Bacon Well-Known Member

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    dolphins will drown you if you try to eat them and monkeys will grab your gun and shoot you
     
  9. CREEPER__1

    CREEPER__1 Well-Known Member

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    Hence why you cook them first, unless you like your meat raw and like it to fight back while you eat it. That works too.
     
  10. Bacon

    Bacon Well-Known Member

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    yes but whilst the hunting process takes place, unless you buy your monkeys and dolphins at walmart
     
  11. Keldricc

    Keldricc Well-Known Member

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    All this talk about pillow pets really RILED ME UP. Why talk about the INFERIOR choice, when you could talk about our lord and savior, the Webkinz plush toy
     
  12. Bacon

    Bacon Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]

    Roblox plush toys will always be the best
     
  13. Masteraj12

    Masteraj12 (☞゚ヮ゚)☞Sr. Moderatorororor☜(゚ヮ゚☜) Sr. Mod

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    I still use my Pillow Per every night. I've had it for like 5 years
    [​IMG]
     
  14. lobster

    lobster Well-Known Member Builder

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    This is god tier shit posting and I love it
     
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  15. lordslaughter20

    lordslaughter20 Active Member

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    I'll take 20

    Also I'm stuck with pets( the inferior race) because pillows pets don't exist in my country. 3rd world struggles
     
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  16. Furiosus_

    Furiosus_ Well-Known Member

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    Objection, You can't love a piece of filled fabric more than an actual Pet.
     
  17. Masteraj12

    Masteraj12 (☞゚ヮ゚)☞Sr. Moderatorororor☜(゚ヮ゚☜) Sr. Mod

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    I beg to differ with you on this. I have formed an incredible bond with my pillow pet. We've gone through plenty of emotional turmoil but he always stands strong and never lets me down.
     
  18. HaleStorm

    HaleStorm Active Member

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    Nothing is better than Project Mayhem shit post. Top tier comedy here with baseball!
     
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  19. TeamPurple

    TeamPurple The Purpatraitor (Mod)

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    Do Salad pets count?
     
  20. Soup

    Soup Well-Known Member Wiki Team

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    OMG CAMERON I MISS MY DAILY SNAPS OF HIM AAHHHHHHHH
     

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